If there were another legitimate way to interpret the scene in the garden that wasn’t a sex orgy
version, I’d like that very much
—Bob Schlenker
Herein is the continuation of a review of Bob Schlenker’s article Who is Cain’s Father? Part Three having already considered parts 1-2, you can (eventually) find the whole series in toto here.
Bob Schlenker references “how Michelangelo had painted a very astute representation of the deep primal imagery of the serpent/tree/DNA identity.” He thinks that the coiled serpent implied knowledge not only of the DNA molecule but knowledge of DNA, as in Satanic genetics, and the serpent seedline of Satan. Of course, he seems to neglect that DNA consists of a double helix.
He ponders whether Michelangelo “or his patron (Pope Julius II) believe oral sex was practiced in the Garden?” Wait, what?! He thinks that the painting was “an inside joke, who see it and understand what it really means.”
But how does the painting, much less Genesis 3, implies oral sex. Well, Bob Schlenker asks us to “consider how cannibalism as a consequence might relate to oral sex as a cause.” Well, let us say that he connects the non-existing dots by, for example, reference to Hebrews 7 which refers to Levi who when Melchizedek met Abraham “was still in the loins of his father.” In keeping with his X-Rated sex orgy misinterpretation of Genesis 3 we now learn a new previously not only unknown but unimagined (and unimaginable) alleged factoid, “Did the serpent eat Adam’s seed in the Garden? If not, for what reason did the Lord God condemn the serpent to go on his belly, eating dust?”
Interestingly, he follows directly with “If you deny the presence of the ‘dots’ or refuse to ‘connect them’ you’ll have no legitimate answers at all to the hard questions that beg to be asked.” Thus, he asks us to accept his perverted sex fantasies based on gotcha questions. Well, I have already dealt with this issue in this series and the simple answer is that as per the Bible’s very own greater context: going on one’s belly and eating dust is a manner whereby to denote being humbled (see Deuteronomy 32:24, Psalm 72:9, Micah 7:17 and Lamentations 3:27-28). But that is not all, not only did Satan and Adam sodomize each other but Bob Schlenker then asks, “Did Adam engage in oral sex with the serpent, consuming his seed? Adam had eaten of the tree” so you get the picture—sadly get the picture as that would be a picture worth censoring since, as he himself puts it, “when you see what becomes so obvious you cannot un-see it.”
Bob Schlenker wrote, “I don’t know of any explicit account of oral sex in the Bible (beyond the Garden scene)” well, I don’t know of any explicit, or implicit, account of oral sex in the Garden scene. In fact, as far as I know, Bob Schlenker is the only person in history to know of it.
So infatuated is he with his very own gotcha questions (as serpent seed of Satan theorists tend to be) that he states that without his literally invented stories, “what are we left with but no answer at all?”
He states, “If there were another legitimate way to interpret the scene in the garden that wasn’t a sex orgy version, I’d like that very much” and it is “the singular version to which the evidence points. Can’t we find some reasonable alternative.” But what about that which he dismissively relates as “Adam having actually eaten some apple-like fruit from a common orchard-like tree?…If you can make that work for you with all honesty and integrity, well, good luck with that.”
Well, there is another legitimate way to interpret the scene which has worked for Judaism and Christianity for some three and a half millennia with all honesty and integrity and it is to recognize that the Bible says what it means and means what it says. The most succinct elucidation I have written is Serpent Seed of Satan article in a Christian Apologetics journal.
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