I might as well just come out with it right off the bat: I believe that perhaps the most meaningless phrase in the history of language is “I’m a good person,” or “You’re a good person.” And it also seems to me that the most dangerous movement in the world is the self-esteem movement.
But just what is wrong with being a good person? Nothing. But in and of itself it is the concept, the terminology, that is utterly meaningless. Why? This is the point: we must first seek to define “good” because the easiest thing in the world is to look into the mirror and say, “I’m a good person.”
On a certain real-life crime television show a man was referred to as “good”.
This man is a convicted child molester who, with his wife’s assistance, faked his own death in order to defraud their life insurance company. He robbed a grave and exhumed the corpse in order to place it into a car so as to burn it and make it look like it was his dead body. He and his wife talked their four year old son into believing that he, the boy’s daddy, was dead. He then reentered his child’s life having dyed his hair as a disguise and talked the child into believing that he was his mommy’s new boyfriend. Needless to say that the little boy began to exhibit psychological disturbed behavior. When his wife was interviewed form her temporary home in prison she was asked if he would get back together with him when they were both released and she responded in the affirmative, explaining, “He is a good man.”
If he is a good man I would hate to see a bad one. But then again, surely this was the opinion of a “good woman”. In fact, to certain people Mother Theresa was a good person, Osama bin Laden is a good person, I’m a good person, you’re a good person, everyone is a good person.
There is a television program entitled “The Moment of Truth” the premise of which is that contestants have been questioned regarding various aspects of their lives while strapped into a polygraph-a lie detector. On Monday March 25th an episode aired that was relevant to this post.
A particular contestant admitted that she had flashed (exposed her naked body) to perfect strangers, had stolen money form an employer, takes off her wedding ring when she goes out partying in order to appear unmarried, has committed adultery, was still in love with an ex-boyfriend on her wedding day, is still in love with her ex-boyfriend and that she would prefer to have been married to the ex-boyfriend.
The most astonishing aspect of this was that in the end she was asked “Do you think you’re a good person?” she answered “Yes” and while there was a pause for the results of the polygraph her father kept repeating “Yes,” “Yes,” “Yes.” As it turns out the polygraph detected that she was lying and a look of utter shock came across her face.
Poor thing, she obviously needs some genuine love in her life.
On a 20/20 episode about murder for hire, a woman was caught in a police sting via a hidden camera hiring an undercover cop as a hit man. She noted that there were children in the home of the intended victim and that, although she is not a bad person, if they get in the way then they were to be murdered as well.
Perhaps it is due to the self-esteem movement that people want to be able to think of themselves as being “a good person.” Anyone can baselessly and self-congratulatory say, “I’m a good person.” This is made all the easier by the fact that people invent their own definition of what it means to be good. For this reason, if someone says to me, “I’m a good person,” I would not take their word for it since it would be far more telling to ask the person’s family, friends and co-workers. This would ensure a better-rounded and accurate depiction of a person’s character; this is why our legal system has “character witnesses.”
Usually a person’s definition of good comes down to “being good means that I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, wherever I want, as much as I want, with whomever I want.” The only exception is that the definition of what good is often is followed by the following qualifier, “as long as you don’t hurt anyone,” i.e., “harm none.” Yet, “hurt” or “harm” are terms that is just a generic as “good” and just as morally arbitrary.
Since people want to think of themselves as good they concoct a definition that allows them to do as they wish. They excuse their actions that are non-good or they think that doing good makes you a good person but doing non-good is meaningless. Or rather, that doing non-good is a mere slip up from doing good and therefore eligible for self-forgiveness by justifying their actions or simply excusing themselves. To an atheist being “good” may be besmirching theists at every possible opportunity. It may mean putting down and bickering with co-workers, friends and family members about theism. It may mean telling theists that they are ignorant, superstitious and unable to think rationally.
But what does one do when they call themselves a good person but they commit an act that is not good? Some say, “Do better the next time,” but how does this fix the problem or make up for it? Moreover, what if a person did not notice that they did something that was not good? They may not have paid enough attention to their own actions, or words, or may have excused their own actions and words. How does one improve upon something that they did not notice? This is where the band-aid of all psychological band-aids comes into play in the form of the self-esteem movement. Just remember, this movement proclaims, just feel good about yourself all of the time not matter what, you deserve it. Just remember that you are a good person regardless of all of the evidence to the contrary.
It is the standards by which we judge that determine the meaning of “good.”
He was despised and forsaken of men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and like one from whom men hide their face He was despised, and we did not esteem Him
—-Isaiah 53:3
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